Life as Me

Life as a Me

1. 
   
   Choices are hard.


2. 
   
   People are selfish.


3. 
   
   Decisions never get easier.


4. 
   
   Most people don't care.


5. 
   
   Some people actually listen.


6. 
   
   Some people are completely amazing.


7. 
   
   I admire a few of them.


8. 
   
   In the past 9 months I have completed 18 credits at school.


9. 
   
   I have 70 left to go.


10. 
    
    Each class has a few familiar faces.


11. 
    
    Some classmates have grown to be complete friendships.


12. 
    
    Some people still don't know how to work with others.


13. 
    
    I have learned a lot.


14. 
    
    Writing huge papers does get easier.


15. 
    
    I tend to procrastinate.


16. 
    
    Normal is what you make it.


17. 
    
    Children learn so much, especially from example.


18. 
    
    Trying not to care what people think never gets easier.


19. 
    
    Trying to please everybody is too stressful.


20. 
    
    I think I am done with that.


21. 
    
    I have lost 30 pounds since October.


22. 
    
    My pants are just a bit loose this week, and it is bugging me.


23. 
    
    Don't comment on my weight.


24. 
    
    I will probably sabotage it just because you mentioned it and made it a big deal in front of a lot of people, not to just me.


25. 
    
    I don't like to be the center of attention.


26. 
    
    Reading people is easy.


27. 
    
    Reading other's is a mystery.


28. 
    
    I only open myself up to a select few.


29. 
    
    I have been burned more times than I care to count.


30. 
    
    I have learned the importance of being me.


31. 
    
    People think that I hold grudges.


32. 
    
    I don't.


33. 
    
    I tend to over think emotions.


34. 
    
    I never thought I was smart enough.


35. 
    
    I now know that I am.


36. 
    
    I never thought I was good enough.


37. 
    
    I know that I am.


38. 
    
    I also know that people put others down, because they don't believe in their own selves.


39. 
    
    I only have a few close friends.


40. 
    
    I don't need hundreds of friends.


41. 
    
    My friends like me for me.


42. 
    
    Real friends are amazing people.


43. 
    
    I don't need to pretend to be some one else.


44. 
    
    I am exhausted all of the time.


45. 
    
    Having only one adrenal gland will do that to you.


46. 
    
    I should have been dead over 5 years ago.


47. 
    
    I am glad that I am not.


48. 
    
    With both the births of my daughters 50 years ago I would be dead.


49. 
    
    I am glad that my problems are mine.


50. 
    
    I am grateful for doctors who have saved my life, several times.


51. 
    
    I have had 9 surgeries in the last 10 years.


52. 
    
    7 of which were since Emily was born.


53. 
    
    Each one has shown me what I can live with.


54. 
    
    Pain. You never know what you are capable of until you have lived with it.


55. 
    
    Love is amazing.


56. 
    
    I am married to my best friend.


57. 
    
    He gets me.


58. 
    
    I don't have to edit my thoughts around him.


59. 
    
    I try to laugh everyday.


60. 
    
    A day without laughter is a day that I have wasted.


61. 
    
    I love Emily.


62. 
    
    I love Sarah.


63. 
    
    I never thought I would be a mom.


64. 
    
    I love being a mom.


65. 
    
    My kids keep me going.


66. 
    
    These are all random thoughts.


67. 
    
    I love to read.


68. 
    
    I love a great love story.


69. 
    
    I love mysteries, and fiction.


70. 
    
    I have more books than I know.


71. 
    
    Books are usually better than the movie.


72. 
    
    I go to work every day by 4 am


73. 
    
    I don't get to bed most days before 10:30


74. 
    
    I battle my thoughts.


75. 
    
    I cry in the movies.


76. 
    
    I don't know what I want to do with this post.


77. 
    
    Publish or not.


78. 
    
    I don't know.


79. 
    
    Slow songs depress me.


80. 
    
    I am a people watcher.


81. 
    
    People are interesting.


82. 
    
    Some are crazy.


83. 
    
    I love to coupon.


84. 
    
    I like to see how much I can save.


85. 
    
    I am alergic to EVERYTHING.


86. 
    
    I can't avoid everything.


87. 
    
    I have several allergic reactions lately.


88. 
    
    I carry an Epi-Pen.


89. 
    
    Just in case.


90. 
    
    I have almost used it.


91. 
    
    I hope I don't have to.


92. 
    
    I am in love with Diet Coke.


93. 
    
    If I become allergic to Diet Coke I will cry.


94. 
    
    You wont want to be around me if that happens.


95. 
    
    I wish I could figure all the allergies out, and why they have gotten so bad in the last year.


96. 
    
    I love Tangled, Or cartoons in general.


97. 
    
    I need to finish the mural of Dora on Emilys wall.


98. 
    
    I am happy with the direction my life is going.


99. 
    
    I am going to finish school.


100. 
     
     I am doing better than I thought I would.


101. 
     
     I am doing it with two small kids.


102. 
     
     I am doing it while working full time.


103. 
     
     I am Proud to be me.

Choices

I haven't wanted to blog in a very long time. Maybe because I don't like to talk about myself or my family. Maybe because it was because I decided to make several hard decision. Maybe I am tired of trying to hold onto relationships even if there is not a response on the other end. Maybe I am tired of trying to make other people happy.
I have decided to continue with school. I started right after high school. I wasn't ready for college. I know many people are. I am not a school person. I have never learned how to study properly. I have this little voice in my head that tells me I am not smart enough. I have people in my world that continue to look at everything negative. If you choose to be miserable, please don't spread the wealth.
Happiness is a choice. You can choose to make the best of your situation or you can keep things the same that they have been. You can't live your life wishing that you were somebody else. Don't compare yourself to others... You will never measure up.
We live our lives day by day. Our presence may or may not impact others in our lives. Sometimes life doesn't always turn out where you want it to be, but without our memories, we would not have made some choices in life. You can't regret the past, live in the moment, and look forward to the future.
Be thankful for the few close friends you may make, the ones that you can count on, even if you haven't seen them in a long while, the ones you can just call out of the blue, and it seems like you haven't been apart for more than a few days.
Be grateful for family. They are there for you when you need them. Usually a phone call away. Sometimes they are the only ones that are there when you need them.
I chose to change my life this past June. I wanted to finish school. I think you have to be ready for school for it to be a priority. Knowing it would take time from my little family, and with the support of my husband, I have gone full force into changing my life. I don't see my girls on Mondays. Sometimes, it makes it hard to keep going. But, this will only last for three years. I can choose to do this, or I can be in the same place in three years. I don't think that I want to keep on going in the same direction. I am tired of the people at work being so negative, and so hateful. It is not a way to live your life. If you aren't happy change it.
So I have these little voices in my head that keep saying that I have to get straight A's. For me, that is very hard. I work full time, have two kids, and am trying to go back to school after over a decade of being away from structured learning. Becides I am not good at writing... I am getting better.
I am proud that I have finished three, yes, three classes so far. I have gotten an A, B+, and an A-. Pretty good start. The B+, some students had stated that this was the hardest class that they took... Economics. They should have split it into Micro and Macro, but it was one class that was crammed into 5 weeks.
I am proud that I am changing my life. It may not change circumstances right now. But I am chosing to make progress.

Daddy's Girl

Emily saw this picture on the news the other night and simply stated,

"That's my Daddy. My Daddy is kissing me!"